I have thought long and hard on how to relay some of what I’ve been thinking and feeling lately in the current state of affairs in the U.S. It’s a somewhat different take than what many on either “side” have been expressing, so here goes!
I support and endorse the protests and resistance that has been taking place lately. I believe that it can, and historically, has been effective in enacting change especially on a governmental and policy level.
BUT, how do we actually change the hearts and minds of the PEOPLE who gave power to the current administration. Those who are on the “other side” think that we are just as crazy as we think that they are, and we will likely never win anyone over with abrasive arguments and debates, but rather just grow their anger and resentment, plus they’re just going to keep thinking we’re crazy.
Maybe some people will change their minds when they are personally adversely affected by certain policy changes, but apart from that, no matter how loud we yell our beliefs, it isn’t going to change theirs.
HOWEVER, it is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that doesn’t mean that people’s minds and hearts can’t be changed through interactions with others.
I aim to give some perspective as to how others can actually think the way they do and how a person can genuinely begin to change these beliefs, because as the daughter of a conservative Baptist minister I was born into a pretty intolerant mindset.
Things I used to believe: (just a brief taste)
That being gay was wrong
That being transgender was unnatural and wrong
That democrats and leftists were basically all evil
That Planned Parenthood was evil and basically just a place that kills babies
That Muslims were evil (though I was never told why or taught anything about what they actually believe) and that any other religion besides evangelical Christianity was completely false and all those people doomed to hell.
I also: used to wear an “Abortion is Murder” hoodie in high school AND I voted for Bush in the 2004 election.
If you know me at all, you know that I no longer believe any of those things, but the important thing to ask is HOW and WHY did my thought process change and my heart change???? That is the key. I wasn’t won over with abrasive arguments and debate. I wasn’t won over by people on the other side loudly yelling their beliefs. and quite importantly change DIDN’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.
As a person who was brought up in an almost exclusively white Christian, middle to upper middle class suburban town with a conservative mindset that was consistently reinforced by the people and media I was surrounded by, the greatest factor that impacted my thought process and changed my heart and mind over a span of about 5-8 years was: RELATIONSHIPS!
Relationships that stemmed from positive interactions with people who were of different backgrounds, cultures, socioeconomic status, religions, sexual orientations, etc who were able to share their experiences with me, showed me the value of diversity, empathy and humility.
These people became my friends, and my life has been far greater as a result. Working with people from other countries who showed me the beauty of their cultures; having a close friend who chose to have multiple abortions; having amazing courageous friends who came out as transgender. These are just a few examples of relationships that have expanded my mind and my heart, and without them I would probably still be pretty intolerant and prejudiced.
Keep protesting, keep resisting, but I also urge you to revisit the conversation of how to engage others who think differently in a way that will positively impact them. It’s easy to write people off, but I will tell you from my own experience that many people CAN CHANGE, and change has to start somewhere.
Maybe it can start with you.
(I made this public, so share it if you feel like it.)
Bridges-Not-Walls 